Signs You May Need A Dating Break

As with so many other things in life, sometimes you just need to take a break from dating. The truth is that dating should be fun and exciting. You should be embracing the fact that you get to meet new people, enjoy new experiences through dating, and going on a journey that will eventually lead to meeting that one special person.

Signs You May Need a Break

While dating should be fun and exciting, many people get frustrated and sometimes even cynical over the dating process. It’s easy to look back over the last few years of dates and relationships in your life and feel as though you are not any closer to meeting that special person now than you were years ago. It’s completely natural to feel as though you are spinning your wheels and going nowhere fast when recent relationships have turned sour and dates have been duds. This is even truer if your last few years of dates have been less than spectacular!

Experiencing these feelings may be a sign that you need to take yourself out of the dating scene for a while and really re-group. The fact is that when negative feelings like this start to invade your mind, you are actually setting yourself up for failure in a relationship. If by chance that special someone does come along while you are in this negative, cynical mindset, you are not going to be in the right emotional state to openly explore and accept that relationship.

Think of taking a break from dating similar to a coach taking a player out of a game. When the player is beating himself or herself up over a poor performance over the last game or two, putting that player in the game isn’t going to help things. Instead, the player needs to re-group and re-focus. Then, once he or she returns to play again, it’s game on!

Change the Game Plan

If you don’t like the way your dating experiences have been going, it’s absolutely time to re-evaluate the situation and make some changes. After all, if you keep doing the same thing over and over, you can pretty much expect the same results! The best thing to do is to take a break from dating and really devise a new game plan.

Many people who take a break from dating will use that break as a time of personal and spiritual growth. This is often the perfect time to really reflect on your life up to this point. If you aren’t quite in the place you thought you would be at this point in life, chart a new path and steer off in the right direction. This may mean re-connecting with your spirituality, going back to school, joining a co-ed recreational sports team, or something else altogether.

This will do two things for you. First, it will help you to find some happiness in life again. Many times, singles base the source of their happiness (and often their unhappiness) on the status of their love life. Having other things in your life that are a source of happiness and fulfillment will put you in a better place, emotionally and psychologically speaking. Second, this will put you in a position to meet new and different people, and likely those who you share common interests with. When you start dating again, some of these new people in your life may be a great place to start looking for love.

During The Break

After you’ve decided to take a break from the dating scene, embrace this time in your life fully. Many people find that the simple act of a self-imposed time out is all that they need to really re-gain that feeling of control in their lives. Take some time to really have fun and enjoy life for a change. If you are like many singles, your social calendar of events is determined by how many other singles will be at each event. When you aren’t dating, however, you can really enjoy events for what they are and not look at every occasion as a meet-up place to garner a date for next weekend. This change of pace is truly liberating if you embrace it.

Keep in mind that you don’t always have to go out with other people. Sometimes it can be nice to just go out on your own. Enjoy your own company and partake in activities that you enjoy or try something new. This is a great time to learn to love yourself again and to foster new interests.

Let Go of the Past

If you have been dating unsuccessfully for a while, chances are that you have some emotional hang-ups from past relationships. Feelings like bitterness, resentment, and cynicism about love can really drag you down. Sometimes, singles even have some feelings of anger and sorrow about a past relationship or two that are still causing grief. You may have spent months or even years trying to bury these feelings. Rather than burying them, though, you should be confronting them and then letting them go.

Holding on to negative feelings will not get you anywhere except in a state of unhappiness. Take time to forgive and forget. Embrace the good in your life, and refocus your thoughts and energies on the people, activities, and interests that bring you happiness. When your next relationship comes along, you will be in a better place emotionally to really foster and nurture that relationship from an emotional standpoint.

When You Start Dating Again

How long your break from dating lasts is completely up to you. Ideally, you will want to make a conscious decision to start dating based on your emotional state. For some people, such a break may last just a few months, but others may need a year or longer to really find themselves, let go of past feelings and pain, and establish a healthier emotional state.

Now, it can certainly be frustrating to put your love life on hold for such an extended period of time. However, consider for a minute that anyone who you meet right now, at a time when you are flooded with negative feelings of bitterness and cynicism over love and romance, is likely going to be turned off by your projection of these feelings. It does no good to you or to them to put yourself out again too quickly in the dating scene. Instead, take time to re-group and re-establish some balance and happiness in your life. Then, when you re-emerge into the dating scene, you will be far more receptive to love and romance when that special person does come along!

It is a big decision to take a break from dating, and it is a difficult commitment to hold on to for months on end. Yet this can truly be a turning point in your life that can set you on a course for long-term happiness.

Sound Off

How about you, have you ever tried taking a break from dating? If so, how well did it work for you and what did you learn? Use the comments form below to provide your input!

About The Author

Sarah T. Connor is a successful dating advice guru and the publisher of Free Date dot net, a datehookup and 100% totally free online dating and matching service for singles who are looking for that special someone. Sarah Connor has a B.S. Degree from the University of Maryland.

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